Blog Archives

Friendly Allies vs. Unchecked Foes

The Pacific Northwest is really white. How white? Well…..

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Having lived in this sea of whiteness the majority of my life, I’ve had to face many battles with white supremacy. Being called “nigger” by a white relative, people avoiding elevator rides or sitting next to me on the bus, hair touching, work place discrimination, and all the microagressions in between. I also have to deal with a great deal of closeted racism that has gone unchecked due to the lack of non-whites the white folks here interact with. I don’t know. It might not be a regional thing. But it sure feels like it sometimes. I don’t know how else to explain it. Read the rest of this entry

So, About That Wage Gap…..

“It’s time for women. Equal means equal. The truth is the older women get, the less money they make. The highest percentage of children living in poverty are in female-headed households. It’s inexcusable that we go around the world and we talk about equal rights for women in other countries and we don’t…..It’s time for all the women in America, and all the men that love women and all the gay people and all the people of color that we’ve all fought for to fight for us now.” – Patricia Arquette
Source: Time

If you haven’t heard, there’s a big fuss over Miss Arquette’s speech at the Oscars last night. So much fuss that the above referenced article from Time.com is asking everyone to stop giving her a hard time because of it. That said, I won’t give her a hard time. I won’t even address her. I will simply explain why what she said upset so many people(other than the implicit tone that the fight gays and people of color has ended). And don’t worry, this will be short sweet and to the point. Read the rest of this entry

I Am Not Your Damn Fetish

Dating is stressful cuh. After spending two years with the same guy, I totally forgot how annoying dating is. You’ve gotta go places to meet people, then talk to them to get to know them, then weed through all the nonsense to figure out who’s sane and who’s batshit crazy. It’s so tiring. I’m glad I have books. Lots and lots of books. And cable.

In the tedious process of weeding out the bad guys you come to learn something as a Black woman. You might be nothing more than a fetish. I’ve only seriously dated one white guy in my life. And I honestly believe I only dated him because he grew up within Black culture having a very large Black step-family. He never approached me as the white guy attracted to a Black girl. He was just a guy and I was just a girl. Nothing weird about that. However, that’s often not the case. Read the rest of this entry

Don’t Call Me Mixed

I always get offended when people call me mixed. Nobody ever really understands why either. You can say my mother greatly influenced my thoughts on my racial identity. I’ve also put a lot of personal thought into exactly who I am throughout my 29 years here on this earth. It’s not really a cut and dry answer to why I identify the way I do. For one, “race” is a myth anyway. Still, as long as racism exists and I have to check a box, I have to decide who I want to be. Read the rest of this entry

Show Some Respect

After reading the comments on a news story about people of color and their issues with the police, I was compelled to share a story and offer some insight about showing respect when dealing with cops. I typically don’t read the comments section on news sites to avoid being annoyed by trolls, but since I contributed to the story, I let curiosity get the best of me.

I Am Not My Hair, But B****! Don’t Touch It.

Imagine a stranger walking up to you and commenting on the curviness of your hips. Or a coworker reaching out to touch your full lips. Or the lady behind you in the check out line asking how you got your butt to sit up like that. Or your white friend saying how “neat” your broad nose is. Well as ridiculous as that sounds, that’s exactly how ridiculous it is when people do the same with hair.

Hair is a part of a person’s body. It literally grows and dies just like any other living thing. So anytime you touch it or ask invasive questions about it, you are violating them. I get that it looks cool and it’s neat and it’s different from what you’re used to seeing, but no. Just no. Read the rest of this entry

3 Things NOT To Say When Discussing Any “Ism”

Let’s talk about race baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Ok let me stop. So, you guys know I talk about racism (and other “isms”) a lot. I’m not sorry. Once I experience something more often and consistently than I experience racism, I’ll talk about that instead. Dont’ hold your breath.

In talking about “isms” I hear many different comments from members of the oppressing class. For those who aren’t hip on the lingo, when speaking about race, white people are the oppressing class. If we’re talking sexism, men would be the oppressing class and so on. Which would make people of color, women, etc. the oppressed class. Moving forward. When a member of the oppressed class shares their experience of whatever “ism” they deal with, there are a few things that members of the oppressing class need to keep in mind and a few phrases to avoid. Read the rest of this entry