A Letter To Boys About Texting
I am writing in regard to your texting habits. It has become painfully obvious that some of y’all just don’t get it. Whatever “it” may be at the particular time. I know many say that women are complicated, impossible to understand even, but really, we’re not. Most of us are simple. And no, not simple-minded. At least not the majority of us. When it comes to texting, sending DMs and private messages, most of us feel the same way about a few things and I can’t figure out why you guys keep messing up.
Let’s start with good morning texts. Look, girls don’t like good morning texts unless they like you. And don’t think just because they text or tweet or Facebook you that they like you. You have to KNOW a girl likes you before sending that text. When I get good morning texts from guys I don’t like, I look at my phone, roll my eyes and set it back down. It’s not cute. Texting a girl who doesn’t like you is a tragic mistake. And the more you do it, the more annoying you are. Keep it up and you may not even make it into the friend zone. You’ll be stuck in Thirstland forever.
Also, and this comes from actually knowing the girl you’re texting, make sure your text is aptly timed. If she wakes up early, text her early. I’m up at 6:30 and at work with my phone in the desk drawer by 8:00, so if you text me after that I won’t even see it. Fail. Step your game up. And if she wakes up late, you shouldn’t be texting her at all. Raise your standards.
Some of you won’t even have to worry about sending that good morning text because you’re fortunate enough to have a girl who likes you enough to text you first. Unless she’s light-skinned, then good luck with that. If a girl DOES text you though, make sure to text her back in a timely manner. Most of us give passes during business hours, but nights and weekends we give y’all a one hour window. Doesn’t matter how busy you are, it takes 30 seconds to respond to a text.
Why should you care? Well, even the ugliest girl has the potential to have half a dozen men she texts on a regular basis, so don’t feel too special. Often, we’re just bored. We feel guys out. So, if you don’t reply to her text, she will just text someone else. Even if you’re in a relationship with her, there’s still at least two guys that periodically text her to see if she’s still curving. Don’t mess up. She won’t be single for long if you do.
We’ve gone over the “who” and the “when,” but most of you guys mess up with the “what.” Y’all send some of the dumbest messages and wonder why you get one-word replies, if any at all. At the very top of the dumbest messages to send list is “send me a pic.” Look, if you want a picture of me, login to Instagram. One, nobody has time to take impromptu selfies. And two, I don’t want you having a bunch of random pictures of me in your phone. I don’t trust you, boo. I’ve seen too many folks publicly outed with pics lately. No, thank you. Coming in at a close second is “hey.” If that’s how you choose to start a conversation, I highly doubt you have the intellectual capacity to offer any engaging dialogue after. And like my mama always said, “Hey is for horses,” so what are you trying to say?
Now, you can take this advice or you can leave it. I just don’t want to hear y’all complain about getting curved so much. Keeping in mind that women will always make exceptions for guys they really dig, consider yourself the rule and not the exception.
P.S. I forgot the most important rule: Don’t text a girl if you’re in a relationship. Because screenshot.